The KILLER

No not Di Luca, this person is MUCH more dangerous: THOMAS BROWN. You should have seen the raw display of killer instinct that terrorized my eyes today while out for a little spin on the bike path. The path that weaves through low-hanging trees along the edge of the sparkling Eagle River would have been quite a pleasant sight on any other sunny day: kids frolicking on their skateboards nearby, kayakers taking advantage of the warm day and high waters, and the cutest little prairie dog type ground squirrels popping in and out of their holes to check out the shiny bikes and blur of orange as we rolled by. Well this beautiful scene was soon turned upside, into one of sheer horror (especially for one particularly unlucky ground squirrel). Thomas "The Killer" Brown, who was not getting enough satisfaction from making me suffer on our (supposedly "easy") recovery ride, was on the hunt for another innocent life. As soon as he spotted the cutest, most preciously innocent looking ground squirrel we had seen all day just minding its own business a little too close to the edge of the path for its own good, Thomas struck with incredible ferocity. Based on the impeccable timing with which the attack was executed (he scored double-wheel impact), I could tell The Killer was no newbie to the field of assassination. Within that split second that it took for each wheel to inflict its spine-crushing blow to the poor little fury guy, I stood (or rode, rather) absolutely helpless to intervene and save a life. By the time I actually started to comprehend what Thomas had done, all that was left of the attack was the critter, sprawled on its back in full seizure mode, flopping up and down on the pavement like a fish.....

Like I said, it was a horrific sight. I wanted to go back to see if I could help it, but couldn't stand the sight, and figured that with absolutely no coordinated movement, the squirrel would be dead momentarily. So, after watching it flop for about thirty seconds from a distance, we rolled on our way. Poor little guy.

PS: im just playin, it ran out fast and thomas hit it on accident.

Also, thomas wasnt actually dropping me on our recovery ride.